Charity
“And now abideth faith, hope, and charity, these three; but the greatest of these is charity” (1 Corinthians 13:13).
In H. Wallace Goddard’s book, Drawing Heaven into Your Marriage, he teaches of the great need for charity to be in our hearts and in our marriages. But what exactly is charity? I love that Dr. Goddard addresses what it is “NOT” by saying “it is not artificial good cheer. It is not a thin veneer of politeness on a distressed soul. It is not holding our tongues while judging and resenting others” (Goddard, 2009, p. 113). In Moroni 7:47 it says that “charity is the pure love of Christ.” In this same chapter we learn that, “Charity suffereth long, and is kind, and envieth not, and is not puffed up, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil, and rejoiceth in truth, beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things. . .if ye have not charity, ye are nothing, for charity never faileth” (Moroni 7:45-46). Jesus is the perfect example of charity, and in order to become like Him and to live with Him again someday, charity is a quality that we must have. This is of course, “easier said than done.”
Charity doesn’t always come naturally, and it takes work. Dr. Goddard says that there are “several keys to charity. . . We must be humble enough to recognize our own failings. We must have faith unto repentance, that is, we must trust Jesus enough to be willing to run to Him with our sins, begging for His help with managing our mortal selves and changing our natures” (Goddard, 2009, p. 127). I have had to humble myself many times and ask for forgiveness and for Christ to help me in “changing [my] nature” to be more charitable. I will most likely repeat this process over and over for the rest of my life. I find comfort in knowing that Christ will always forgive and show His love for me, which reminds me just how much “we are all dependent upon His charity” (Goddard, 2009, 116).
I believe that marriage life gives us the opportunity to work on charity on a daily basis. Our spouse is the person that we love the most, but we are also very aware of their weaknesses, many of which drives us crazy. Dr. Goddard says that “Rather than re-working our partners to our liking, we are invited to cover their weaknesses with our charity! God is serious about cultivating our charity. Irritations with our partners are not a challenge to diplomacy as much as to our charity. There are no right words when our hearts our wrong” (Goddard, 2009, p. 126). Dr. Goddard goes on to say that with every “interaction. . .we choose to see each other the way ordinary mortals see each other, or we choose to see each other the way Jesus sees us. That is charity, the mind of Christ” (Goddard, 2009, p. 116). The next time you are dealing with an irritation or the weakness of your spouse or another, remember that it is a choice to see them as the world sees them or to see them as Jesus sees them. Pray for help to see them as Jesus sees them. Choose charity!
Goddard, H. W. (2009). Drawing heaven into your marriage: eternal doctrines that change relationships. Cedar Hills, UT: Joymap Publishing.